My Other Blog Is A Mercedes

He infiltrated my world leaving a wreckage of destruction, secrets, and a lifetime of nightmares. As I reach for the beam of hope, I'm haunted by the cold shackles bound to my wrists.  It's not the weight of him that holds me down, but the heaviness of never being able to forget, never able to forgive. Surrounded by his lurking ghost, stricken with fear of trusting intimacy again.

Before the day turns into night and you're fast asleep ----theres something you need to know. You are anything but simple. Lips, small and soft-- guarding the gateway of your soul --The blur between stubborn and passionate, You are anything but simple. Insatiable hunger for adventure. You may be anything but simple, but choosing to love you is.

I hope you never read this.  The embarrassment is making me anxious already, opening myself up in a different way than in our sessions. (Ive typed a few sentences and erased them each time. )  Something I want to work on, is complimenting quicker than I judge. That falls true when I'm taking to myself as well. A part of complimenting myself and the progress I've made over the past year, must call attention to the work you've done.   I was caught in a riptide of self sabotage because I didn't feel worth anything better. Take what I was given, and be thankful for even that. Although I allowed years of emotional abuse, you've given me the tools to unlearn my identity. With that confidence, I dyed my hair blue, got multiple nose piercings, and now have the most real relationship I've ever had, with a woman who sees me and supports who I WANT to be.  There were many times you'd ask me a question, and I couldn't hide my thoughts even if I tried. You taught me ...