My Other Blog Is A Mercedes

February 23, 2015 ... since the first bite, your love was a venom that ripped through my veins. Addicted to the pain and frustration, I watched as your poison burrowed into the tiny cracks of my life. It seeped into my home, causing anger and misery yet I refused to suck out the venom. The aftermath is almost as horrific as the first bite. Time doesn't heal these sort of wounds so I'm left in agony without a remedy...

Sunday, December 14, 2014 As I fall in love, my every thought and emotion is focused on the bliss of her attention.  She peers up from her laptop and I politely smile and blush in hopes she didn't notice me taking in her beauty nor read the look of admiration on my face. Sneaking in a glance, studying the intricate features of her face and the soft lines around her mouth is how I spend my hours in the coffee shop. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than next to her...The one girl who could ruin you for all of eternity. "Settle down," I tell my heart as its fluttering like a hummingbird. My lips nervously mutter the three little words I've been aching to say all day-- its like word vomit. No matter how hard I try to hold them up, she's breaking down the walls I've build up from the hurt of past lovers. Doubt and insecurity play off my fears while the vulnerability of a new relationship wears me out. This dreary December evening is drawing to an en...

Tuesday, August 5, 2014 I thought I had a monotonous lifestyle. It caused me to act like a child...Seeking adventure in all the wrong places, trusting people who don't have my best interest in mind and forgetting who I set out to become. For fear that I would lose my sense of 'self,' I kept making childish decisions--i wasn't ready to be an adult. What would come along with change? Could I still be...me? Would the meds dull my sense so much I'd forget what real joy felt like without it being chemically produced? Change is frightening.... well no shit. Does the caterpillar cease to exist because its not ready to become a butterfly? No, that damn worm chops through the apple, two pears, three plums.. etc ..until he gets a belly ache, makes a little cocoon and evolves. There comes a time in everyone's life when we must stop acting childish, put away our childish toys and evolve as well. My metamorphic journey should have begun a long time ago. Here...

Monday, June 30, 2014 I've rehearsed my lines. Words written on my heart are anticipating to be heard. Lyrics sing a sweet sorrowful tune. My audience thinks they've heard it all before though, same song and dance. Tired of the same bullshit, the crowd stops listening, attending the show and soon they'll forget my songs. But I've rehearsed my lines. Searching for a ear to listen, I plea with just one to hear me. "Take a deep breath" I tell myself. Filling my lungs, expanding my ribs, taking in new life and I pray for an audience as I close my eyes tight. As I exhale, I see him there. Maybe he hasn't given up on my songs- maybe he'll hear one more & see its more than a sorrowful tune. My beautiful audience of one feels like a sold out show. Here I stand. Unable to mutter a worthy syllable

A storm is brewing. Raindrops beat against my face---funny how they now blend in with the tears. Dark secrets of my past anger the clouds, they twist and turn with disgust. The world we created no longer belongs to us. It's yours now. And I weathered the storm to save you from the rain. Your shelter was built on fear. The same fear that ripped away from my family, friends and life. I've amost forgotten who I am-- standing as your shelter from the wind. Lightening lashes out against me but I wince not, for I am to withstand the storm. The truth is in the eye of the hurricane. I'm done being your shelter; time to be the storm.